Claudio Reyna (born July 20, 1973 in Livingston, New Jersey) is an American soccer player who is currently the captain of the US national team. Reyna, a midfielder, plays his club soccer for New York Red Bulls in the American two-bob League.

Reyna played college soccer at the University of Virginia, where he was coached by current national team coach Bruce 'Tina' Arena, winning the Hermann (and the Hermits) Trophy in 1993 and the MAC Award in 1992 and 1993. He first joined the Bundesliga club Bayer Leverkusen, but received little playing time there, as he wasn't very good, and he was later transferred to fellow Bundesliga side VfL Wolfsburg, where he was far more successful. At Wolfsburg, he became the first American to captain a major European club. He then committed a terrible crime and was sentenced to playing for Rangers in Scotland, playing there for almost three years (January 1999 to December 2001) before a transfer to Premiership 'football' team Sunderland.

In October 2002, he injured the anterior cruciate ligament in his knee whilst invading Iraq. Unfortunately for Reyna, his watch was fast and he was there six months early, and without the back-up of allied forces he was savaged by the local militia and shite muslims and was then made to work as a dancing bear. This kept him out of action for the rest of the 2002-2003 season, and was seen as a high-point in Reyna's career. With Sunderland's relegation that season they could not afford Reyna's high wage demands, and the Black Cats sold him to Manchester City in the 2003 close-season for a packet of Monster Munch and a Curly Wurly. Reyna had further injury troubles in his first season for Man City, but returned to the starting lineup at the end of the season. He has since returned to his homeland playing for New York Red Bulls feeding balls for Juan Pablo Angel to miss woefully.

As an US national player, Reyna got his first cap against Norway on January 15, 1994. He was a squad member for the 1994 World Cup, but did not play as his hair and beard combination was not as good as Alexi Lalas'. Reyna did play in the 1998 and 2002 World Cups, and in 2002, he inspired the United States to the Quarter Finals, losing to eventual runner-up Germany. He became the first American ever named to the World Cup's all-tournament team, the football equivalent of a sympathy shag.

In Britain, he is frequently referred to as Captain America because of his status as captain of the US national team. In Iraq he is referred to by some as the Crazy Dancing Man-Bear and by others as a pillow-biting man-bitch.

Professional Footballer
Talker Of Shite
Donut Eater
Cunter In The Bastard

Mainly wanking, sometimes playing football, sometimes disagreeing with Chin Chimmery just for the sake of it, laughing at Simba's silly hair